As the end of the first month of 2024 comes into focus, I may have finally mapped out areas for attention. Resolutions? Sort of? I am not typically one for a resolution list written in stone that I will then chastise myself over and over for flubbing.
That’s the thing about resolutions, right? They often encapsulate the unrealistic yet we then beat ourselves up for not achieving them.
Hello? That’s dumb.
Still, that doesn’t stop me from mapping out goals for each incoming year. Goals. As in “It’d be cool if this happened but I will not fall into a pit of self-flagellation if it does not.” Will I still put way too much pressure on myself? Absolutely! Mostly. I think I’m getting better at being okay with “It’s the thought that counts.” I do like to document them each year so that, later, I can take a peek back and see how it went.
As a companion to this month’s episode of Whine & Wine, releasing in a few days, I thought I’d share that peek with you.
Looking Back | 2023 and Me:
Publish book: Done! Honestly, this was a big one as it has been on my list for years. It was something I’d hoped to do before turning fifty and I might have had I known just how long of a runway it takes to get a book in print. What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting was released at the beginning of 2023 and seeing my name on the cover (and on each page) was truly surreal. (ed by husband – You can’t imagine the work this took. Jyl is the most amazing person I’ve ever met)
I am still working on the “be super proud” part (see: 2024 goals). Future authors are told over and over that the easy part of publishing a book is writing it. We all laugh and laugh…until we get to the post-publication work. Post-release, there are endless tasks to be done to pimp your product. Endless. For me, all that pimping filled some of the space I probably should have reserved for “being super proud.”
All that being said, I did sell one copy!! Selling one copy was my goal and, check! Happily, I sold many more than one copy and even hit Amazon’s Hot New Releases in February of 2023. It turns out a realistic book about life as a stepmom was a necessity and, through this process, I have found an entire new circle of wonderful people to add to my life. More details here.
Find a new job: Done! Sort of? Dell did it for me. I lost my corporate sponsorship in February two days after having surgery. Yes, that’s right, Dell didn’t even care that I was fresh out of the operation room when handing out pink slips which probably tells you all you need to know about the company (but feel free to read more here). It has taken almost a year to detox from all the horrible habits that Dell gave me. My husband, who voluntarily left the company a few months after me, is still working through some of it. Going forward, I have promised never to stay longer than absolutely necessary should I find myself at such a shitty company again.
Obsess less about exercise: Work in progress. I have never not been competitive about my fitness routine, whether on a team or with myself. Convincing myself to bring it down a notch has been tricky. I’m up early this morning, in fact, because I have a massage schedule to work out the worst neck kinks ever courtesy of a severe overdo last weekend.
For me, exercise has also been the most efficient way to maintain positive mental health. When I hit 50, my limbs started a protest as decades of overdoing it caught up with me. Three wrist surgeries, one foot surgery, and a double hernia repair later, the message got louder: bring it down. I’m even starting to believe that I probably will not make any Olympic team at all. The hernia recovery has taken a full year and, as I near that finish line, I am constantly reminding myself that “BALLS OUT” is no longer working as I strive for a balance.
Fewer Preservatives: Still succeeding here in a continued effort from the pandemic days. The majority of meals eaten in our house are made from scratch and I am super proud of that newfound ability to walk into our pantry with no agenda and produce something delicious. If you’ve ever experienced the ghost of Jyl’s cooking past, you know what a big deal this is (also, apologize). Fun fact: kicking the boxed food habit has not turned me into a size six because everybody’s body type is different.
Step out of arguments for a minute (or twelve): Look, something I’ve learned in the last years is that trying to win an argument is completely pointless. I have a history of wanting to die on whatever hill I’m on and one of my goals last year was to carry on over those hills to the land of compromise and understanding. I have made a great deal of progress on this. To be honest, I think that leaving Dell helped that as the company had me so deep into fight or flight mode that it seeped into many of my relationships.
Amazon awareness: Okay, yeah. I spend too much time adding things to my Amazon cart. I realized that, often, boxes would show up at my house only to be met with a look of confusion (mine). I made a very small pact with myself to do better at leaving my house to make purchases. It hasn’t gone well. An adjusted pact was to only click “buy” on paydays thus giving that cart a chance to marinate. It works sometimes. Sometimes I go back to that cart and take half of it out. Sometimes I don’t. Stay tuned.
Worry less about the state of my house: HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m not sure why I added this to my list. I’m trying.
Start a podcast: Okay, I definitely didn’t think this was going to happen but, instead, my friend Kathy and I just went for it. Kathy is the perfect throw-caution-to-the-wind buddy. I knew she’d be in (and she was!) and I knew we’d have a blast (we do!). An amazing bonus? We are way less concerned about followers than about our monthly time together. It has refreshed a relationship that had taken a break at the very moment we both needed each other. Yes, it’s also free therapy.
Learn to Embroider: Speaking of breaks…
More in 2024?:
What’s on the docket for this year? Well, it is still a full list that I will pare down as we go.
Embroider: My sewing/embroidery machine was a 2022 Christmas present that gave me a run for my frustration money. In fairness, I did learn the sewing side quite well once I decided to throw away my hoops (not really). A friend of mine (I love her so much) handed me two aprons in mid-December with instructions on adding embroidery knowing full well that I would tell her “no” sit down and figure it out. I returned to her two aprons with only one minor learning experience. (ed by husband – I’m not sure that sewing the strap onto the back of the apron counts as minor) These are the kinds of friends you should keep in your life, people.
Writing A: I do plan to continue freelancing in 2024 but want to grab some consistency in travel writing. Obviously, this will be helped with my new gig as a travel agent and, yes, that was a strategic move. I hope to continue blogging at the same cadence (weekly) but have toyed with going bi-weekly. We’ll see. Some weeks, it is a struggle and I’m hoping to discover some grace (for myself) in taking a week off if I need to.
Writing B: I hope to have the audio version of my book published in the first quarter of this year and DEAR LORD that has been a project. I recorded it myself, I am editing it myself, I am pulling out my hair all by myself. The audiobook is the last piece of that publishing puzzle and it is a huge piece and I hope that at least one person listens to it but if not, well, that’s okay because the mountain will have been climbed. I will keep pimping my book but on a less formal schedule. Will I write another book? Who knows. Once the audiobook is out, I plan on taking at least six months off from thinking about it.
Socials: My socials got out of control in the last years mainly because I listened to some negative feedback. When I heard from someone that they weren’t interested in seeing writing stuff on Facebook, I quickly started a second, author’s page to relieve their annoyance. When that same person indicated that they weren’t interested in seeing the goodies I’ve made, I quickly started a third, small business page. This year, I am going to do some merging because, frankly, we all have a scrolling thumb. PS: Wait until that gem finds out that I now post travel goodies. 😉
Wear the jewelry: I am very fortunate to be married to a man who likes to buy me shiny things but am terrible at wearing them. Well, I wear it, I just never swap out this bauble for that. This year, I am going to wear the jewelry. Wait for the right occasion? No more.
Rot: I learned this term on our Ask a Gen Z podcast and plan to rot a lot in 2024. What does it mean? Spending a day as a sloth, regularly. I do not do this enough as I feel guilty if not running around like a crazy lady. When our guest Gen Z’er said, “It’s like your generation thinks they’ll get an award for being busy,” my ears perked up. This will actually be a hard goal for me so I decided to make it harder and consider banker’s hours. Can I also put away the keyboard after 4 pm and also on holidays? Doubtful, but I’ve enlisted my husband for help and he is thrilled. (ed by husband – sigh . . . )
Career Casual: I will, at some point, get back to corporate life but on a much more casual level. I suppose part of why I have put the job thing off is because I keep thinking that being on a payroll means being tormented and abused (Dell: Circa 2018-2023). I have witnessed my husband’s transformation as he has been embraced by his new corporation, Pure Storage. I’m still not sure I want to go full-time, but I do want some bumpers in my life provided by a great company.
Letting go of the riff-raff: This has been an eye-opening year when it comes to my relationships. It has been the year of lowering expectations and then lowering them again and then, eventually, just lowering them into the trash. This year, I will work through some of that through writing (apologies), so that I can finally move on while leaving some people behind. I am finished with chasing relationships. In the past few years, I have learned that fighting to have a relationship with someone is a sign that they may not deserve me. Relationships really shouldn’t be a daily ride on the struggle bus, should they? I’m getting off at the next stop.
Clean out the toaster oven: I hate doing this and will buy a new one every year to avoid it. Dear Kohls, not this year.
Sing When You Win: If you’re a fan of Welcome to Wrexham, you have heard this phrase throughout the opener of Season 2. I love it. I am also terrible at it. I have had many wins that I have felt compelled to whisper because singing has been met with eye-rolls or requests to stop bragging. You know what? I’m going to sing. There is nothing wrong with working hard for something and screaming from the rooftops when success is met. I’m going to sing when I win.
Final thoughts? Resolutions/Goals/Etc. should be achievable. Challenging? Sure. But gift yourself a list that includes some sure wins in addition to those really difficult ones. And even if those easily achievable ones are super simple, Sing When You Win.
Check back here on January 24, 204 for the link to this month’s episode of Whine & Wine and hear more from both Kathy and me about our thoughts on resolutions.
(January 24, 2024) Whine & Wine, S2Ep1: New Year’s Resolutions: We’re Doing It Wrong
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