I’d like to start at the end of this story rather than the beginning because, sometimes, I think moving a happy ending right to the front is better. The summary of this story is that the ending was, indeed, happy.
This is the story of how my husband’s father’s fiancee masterminded a rather large party at our house…and how it ended up being awesome. It was sold as a lunch get-together for just a few folks, quickly exploded to a mid-day dinner party, and it left us filled with joy. Though the lead up was not without stress, afterward we felt like we had just discovered a whole pile of new family members. This was much needed at a time when our numbers are dwindling and when we are discovering that family is really what you make it rather than any genetic lines.
This is the story of how my husband’s father’s fiancee, Susan, masterminded a rather large party at our house. I wasn’t even aware of just how well she got this one by all of us until, as people were departing, they were thanking me for the invite. Wait, now what?
I’m learning, with Susan, that when she drops her favorite words into a conversation one must be prepared for quite literally anything. Her favorite words? I’ve had an idea. Her other favorite words are, “You can tell me I’m crazy but…” which I’ve learned we all just ignore as we roll with her whims. Susan is too sweet to be called crazy–even when her ideas actually are just that.
Susan is my husband’s father’s fiancee. If that sounds confusing, well, I’m just getting started. When Ricky first introduced us to Susan, I was elated to meet the most perfect mother-in-law I could imagine. Did he pick her out just for me? Probably not. But when Ricky and I first met, over a decade ago, one of the first things he said upon giving me a stamp of approval was, “Geez, maybe I need to find myself a nice North Carolina gal.”
And he did just that.
We love Susan to pieces and, therefore, we love her crazy ideas.
Susan has matched my need to bring people together and our visits have become quite regular. Before Susan, visits with Ricky were a bit sporadic and often thrown together after a panicked thought (from Rich) of, “Oh, shoot! How long has it been since I saw my dad?”
Until last weekend, I had no idea that bringing people together was actually Susan’s Olympic Sport nor that she is clearly the reigning champion.
Now, this story has a lot of backstory, so please gather your pens and paper. When you’ve finished mapping out your chart, it should look something like this:
The people circled in blue are the ones that we knew before last Saturday. The rest are all people who arrived courtesy of that favorite phrase, “I’ve had an idea…”
Before the start of the holiday season, as we mapped out the timeline of who we would visit and when, we knew that Susan and Ricky would have to wait until the first of the year. We would be in North Carolina visiting my parents so we agreed to host the final holiday event at our house on January 4th.
We live about an hour from Ricky and Susan and, typically, when we host the guest list includes Rich’s father (Ricky), Susan (Ricky’s fiancee), Danny, on occasion, Danny’s two children. This would be no different. Or so we thought.
As the new year approached, Susan mentioned that she’d be making a trip to North Carolina and texted, “What if I swing by the meat plant and pick up a nice piece of beef?” Her idea was that we could then cook that nice piece of beef for our holiday visit. We agreed without hesitation. Who doesn’t like a nice piece of beef?
A few days later and, likely from the actual beef plant, another text, “Hey…what if I drop by on my way back so I can leave this nice piece of beef with you? Won’t that make it easier for cooking?” She’d already asked if we had a smoker so, sure, that did make sense. The next day, Susan showed up with the biggest nice piece of beef I’d ever seen, handed it off, and continued her journey home.
Then a five-day text string kicked off with those famous words…I’ve had an idea.
“We have plenty of meat, right? Would it be okay if I invited one more?”
What about one more?”
“Oh, and maybe some of the kids could come?”
With each idea, I’d send back a quick “Sure!” while having absolutely no idea what I was actually agreeing to. I suppose this is what happens when you mix your sugar plums with some low-level stress. Sure! Sounds good! We’ll figure it out!
As Saturday approached, Rich asked, “Wait, how many people are actually coming!?!”
My response?
“Ummmm…I have no idea. I’d lost count days ago. Isn’t your motto ‘just add more water to the soup?’”
I scrolled back through my texts, sent a few notes to Susan, and I settled on, “I think twelve maybe?”
How did we get to twelve? Honestly, it happened so quickly, I’m not even sure.
What I do know is that, before entering our lives, Susan was with her wonderful, long-term partner, Lee. When Lee passed away, Susan remained incredibly close to Lee’s adult children (and their children, spouses, and partners). That’s exactly who Susan is–she collects people under her wings and traps keeps them there forever.
We have heard the names of this other family, but have only met a few of them once, briefly, at a birthday party. Now, suddenly, the whole crew was coming to our house for a holiday get-together and, well, a nice piece of beef. The guest list would grow to include: Rich’s half-brother Danny; Susan’s previous partner’s two adult children, David and Laura Lee; David’s wife, Dodie, and their three boys; and almost included Danny’s two children, Laura Lee’s partner David and maybe one more?
You can see why I lost count. Do you need the chart again? Sure:
As Saturday approached, Rich and I were not feeling very chipper about the whole thing, if I’m being honest. If you’ve followed our story, you know that this has been a rough holiday season. Still, we understand the importance of family (even more so year) and nurturing its garden. We shoved aside our lack of chipper and hit the grocery store, set up seating for twelve, and started cooking that nice piece of beef.
As our guests arrived, Rich and I traded quite a few of those “Is this awkward? It’s awkward, right?” looks. We were, after all, trying to make complete strangers feel welcome while wondering when it would be over while also hoping everyone could just lean into whatever the heckle we’d been signed up for.
And then? Somewhere in the middle of the exhausting chaos, we found a connection.
We found a connection to Susan’s people and we realized that this could be the first of many warm moments to come. At a time when we felt like our family’s numbers were dwindling, a whole new tribe was gifted to us through one of Susan’s crazy ideas.
I’m not sure what caused the switch to flip. I do remember looking across two tables of people happily chatting as they morphed from strangers to friends. I remember thinking, “Oh! Wow!” and thanking Susan for sharing her both her people and her crazy idea with us.
And it was a crazy idea. But it was also a wonderful one.
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