Do I adore my husband? Yes. Obviously.
Have I learned to love him even more throughout the last few years? Also, yes.
I don’t really know if that’s normal or if it’s a reward from the universe for climbing the incredibly difficult Blended Family mountain.
My husband was (and is) my biggest cheerleader when I told him I wanted to recommit to life as a fledgling writer. He rarely batted an eye when some of that writing hit close to home and then right smack in the middle of our home. When I suggested writing a whole book, he plopped a new Mac in my life and told me to get on it. He suffered through afternoon crankiness sparked by early morning sessions spent writing, editing, proofing, querying, or simply staring into space wondering if it was all worth it.
He jumped in without a word for book signings, played chauffeur to interviews when I was too nervous to drive, and was (and is) the best public relations volunteer on the planet. When I hinted at an audiobook, he built a studio for me. When I suggested he do some of the audio recordings himself? He got right to it after a few weeks of nagging.
On this month’s episode of Whine & Wine, my husband takes a turn in the hot seat as my co-host Kathy interviews him.
After listening to the interview, I thought, among other things, “Well, jeez…he did an amazing job and why are we not inviting more biodads to the Blended Family Discussions Table?”
Rich has loads of advice for blended families but the best of that advice may be his words for the biological parents. Did he sum it up with a swear? Yes.
Fuck Pride
Rich explores properly setting expectations before becoming a family and why its important to continue doing so once blended. He chats about the importance of understanding when your role is that of a spouse versus that of a bio parent versus that of a steward of the family unit. And yes, he implores us all to put aside our pride whenever possible.
Building a blended family is not for the weak.
Listen along as Rich discusses:
- The many moments when we realized that our expectations of “What a family looks like” were not aligned and how a bit of preparation might have lessened our bumpy road.
- How understanding our pasts, including the marital paths of our parents, affected our very different philosophies on achieving peace in our home.
- Just how long it does take to “get over” a divorce (spoiler alert: never).
- Pride. Pride, pride, pride. Rich and I have both learned that hanging onto pride just for the sake of it truly can kill a moment, a month, or even a whole relationship.
- The truth behind (no pun intended) our first night together.
I could not love my husband more. I am in awe of him daily. I applaud his willingness to sit for an interview that was filled with tough questions that could only be answered by sharing some painful moments from his past and the lessons they provided.
Yes, this interview is about a blended family, but much of it is applicable to every kind of relationship.