I’ve heard the term “Park Warrior” a few times since I made that crazy career change from the tech world to travel planning and writing. It’s not a phrase I paid much attention to because, well, I’m closing in on 53, and words that start or end with “Warrior” do not really fit into my mentality. I suppose there are exceptions. Target Warrior? Sure. Couch warrior? Sometimes. Whine Warrior? Doubtful, though my husband might disagree. Wine Warrior? You’re getting warmer.
When I was selected to attend an Agent Education Program (AEP) at Walt Disney World a few weeks ago, I only panicked for a moment as I had a quick flashback to November’s version of the same, hosted by Universal Studios (written about here). That was my first ever lightning round of travel agent training event in which I discovered just how much information can be flashed before one’s eyes by lunchtime, how many resort rooms can be toured by dinner time, and how many times one’s stomach can turn courtesy of Single Rider line.
It took weeks to recover and it was awesome.
When I was picked for Disney World’s February training, I already had two other personal trips on the books that, ironically, were also to visit the mouse. Sure, I responded to the invite, what’s one more? My first trip was at the end of January for an annual girls’ weekend. It did not go great. We spent merely a day and a half in the parks (Epcot & Magic Kingdom) before shifting to the coast for a three-night sailing on the Disney Wish. The theme park portion of that trip absolutely did me in. I came home feeling every bit as out of shape as I had ever been in my entire life.
Granted, the past two years have not been kind to my physical prowess due to a string of nagging injuries that would wait no longer to be addressed.
As I packed for trip number two, the AEP trip, I did so knowing how tough the training was at Universal Studios and how wasted I was after that January visit just two weeks prior. I also became drearily fixated on the fact that the three other agents attending were, indeed, certified Park Warriors. Anxiety? Table for one. In the days leading up to my flight, my husband encouraged me to explain to the group about the neuroma in my left foot or the chunk of missing cartilage in my right knee, or that my neck was coming off an epic strain or that I’d had an entire year of sedentariness after a double hernia repair and DEAR LORD DID HE NOT WANT THESE PEOPLE TO LIKE ME!?!?
Park Party Pooper, Table for One.
As I packed my suitcase, I obsessed over which shoes would offer the least pain from my arches to my ankles and all those other body hinges that wreak havoc on one’s confidence to function as a productive human at a certain age. I removed outfits to make room for shoes, more shoes!, anticipating the need to make quick changes throughout the days. I packed a heating pad, Biofreeze, Salon Paz, and enough anti-inflammatories to put Secretariat to sleep.
I’ve been home for about two weeks now. The trip? Amazing.
Park Warrior? Yes. Exactly where do I pick up my credentials?
In four days, I took nearly 60,000 steps, 24,000 of which were done in one long day that started with a Safari Ride at Animal Kingdom and ended with this face on the Frozen Ride at Epcot:
Can you tell which one of us is in Park Warrior Boot Camp?
No, I know. That’s not a great face. I suspect that photo is probably making the rounds among Disney Cast Members as we speak. That is the face of a woman who had just completed her ninth mile of the day, knew she had at least one more to go, and had just realized she was on a water ride while wearing denim. That is the face of a woman who understood that, while most of her body made it through the day unscathed, she would soon be chafed in some unfriendly areas. That is the face of a woman realizing that her pride, all that glorious pride, had just taken a huge hit.
Thankfully, we were in class the following day so my lady bits could recover (mostly). With my team? We went from “Hey, we’re just getting to know each other” to “Let’s get personal!” in about six seconds when the chatter of the evening’s park goals began to form as I explained to my young companions why getting old sucks and that batwings aren’t just for men.
These were seasoned Park Warriors. I should have known they wouldn’t blink an eye.
I suited up with a winged pad (haven’t seen one of those since menopause) and swiped some gifted magical cream across the offended areas.
Pro-tip: If someone says “This should help” DO read the label first to see if it contains menthol.
We ended our final day of speed training with another wonderful night in which we closed down another park (Hollywood Studios). My head hit the pillow filled with so much more knowledge and glee than I ever could have imagined.
I was not new to Disneyworld. I was new to this warrior’s way of doing Disneyworld.
When my family travels to Orlando, we typically do a couple of hours in one park mid-day, transfer back to our quarters for a break, and then return to a second park for dinner and a few more hours. Nothing wrong with that, of course, vacations should be exactly what you want them to be. My typical travel companions aren’t interested in rides that travel higher than Dumbo or faster than It’s a Small World. That’s fine too.
Disneyworld doesn’t have to be about stacking your day full of success stories claimed on the newest attraction.
There are endless ways to do Disneyworld quietly, avoiding much of the crowds or rubbing sweaty elbows with strangers. Having mastered that, this training was about sprinting past strangers while engaging all available modes to hit every thrilling ride possible. Nary an elbow was rubbed as we essentially walked straight into our seats each time we arrived at our next stop. All those steps clocked? Acquired as much of our daily map included attractions that sat directly across the park from each other.
I have grown used to the eye rolls zipped my way when I tell people “I have a work trip.” I know the next sentence will likely be “Oh, where now?” as if this can’t possibly be real.
I do understand. I think the same thing sometimes. Is this real? It is and, yes, it is work. We spent hours training before our arrival only to spend hours sitting in class after class after class learning all the things coming down the pike from whichever vendor has opened its behind-the-scenes doors to us. In this case, there were rapid-fire presentations from Disneyworld, Disneyland, Disney Cruiseline, Adventures by Disney, and National Geographic Expeditions. As I took notes with a cramping hand, I started a bucket list of what I could do next (Adventures by Disney, yes please!!) while flipping through my mental Rolodex assigning potential clients to each adventure.
It’s fine, the eye rolls. I get it. I am lucky. I am lucky to have finally grabbed a position in an industry I have had a long interest in joining. I am lucky to have access to so many new things that the layperson would never, ever know. I am lucky to leave each experience understanding just how important travel agents are to vacation vendors.
I am lucky to have secured a new status:
Park Warrior.
Denim not recommended.