Ides of March

I can always tell when March is in full swing because the same thoughts start popping in my head. Of course, when I first think these thoughts – I forget they are repeats. Then later something or someone will remind me that I said the same thing last year.

So here’s a few – now documented in cyberspace so that next year I can try an entirely new level of laziness where I don’t even have to expend the energy needed to think these things – instead I can just reference a year old blog.

Ide One:
Ide really like to stop sneezing.

March is the time (at least here in North Cackalacky) when the weather starts having violent mood swings. One day it’s cold and rainy. The next day it’s sunny and rocketing into the 70+ degree zone. The next day it’s in the 60’s but so windy you spend the evening traipsing around the neighborhood on a search for items missing from the back porch.

I call this flip-flop weather. Because I can dig out my flip-flops from the bottom of the shoe bin and dust them off AND because Mother Nature flip-flops so often I want to offer her a cocktail to calm her down.

Of course, with the sporadic warm, sunny perfect days – many of us run to our windows and doors and throw them open, letting the stuffy winter air work its way out of the house to be replaced with fresh, new almost-Spring air.

We have a limited timeframe here where we can let the outside in. Before too long, we’ll have to switch the AC on in order to keep our furniture from melting in the heat and humidity.

But like clockwork this means I start sneezing on a regular basis. If I’m really feeling like a go-getter, I also get runny eyes, a headache and a constant need to clear the daily pollen count out of my throat.

None of this motivates me to retreat and shut the windows and doors – for some reason the plus of fresh air wafting through my house outweighs the fact that the breeze is blowing dirty tissues of the coffee table.

Ide Two:
Ide really like to be able to walk across the room without my joints creaking or cracking and without my muscles begging me to sit back down.

March’s arrival means the start of the Spring Tennis Leagues. At the end of every Fall tennis season, I tell myself that I’ll practice through the winter. My group has open practices every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday – so the opportunities are there. But then it starts taking me so long to suit up for practice (long johns, sweats, gloves, hat, neck warmer, two pairs of socks, etc) that my motivation level drops in proportion to the number of layers I’m donning.

And then I start throwing out numbers. Like, okay, I’m not going to play if it’s below 30 degrees. Which I eventually bump up to 35 degrees. Then 40. And soon the whole winter season is shot because I’ve convinced myself that it’s probably not good to play when it’s cold and dark. Or if there is holiday shopping to be done. Or if I might do house projects. Or on days that end in ‘y’.

Before I know it, we are heading into March and signing up for leagues and putting together match schedules.

This is quickly followed by a lot of mornings laced with Advil and double doses of caffeine. And a missing ability to jump out of my chair and do anything quickly because it takes at least twenty steps for my sore legs to respond to any type of direction.

Ide Three:
Ide really like to figure how to beat this whole March Madness thing.

Just yesterday, my pool picks sent out a reverberating *kerplunk* with a large upset (thanks Morehead) and several missed picks (that’s for you PSU, St. John’s… and just about every other team I picked. Really I should blame Charles Barkley. I believed you, dude, when you talked of upsets).

I wondered at some point if anyone in the history of March Madness has ever gone 0 for 32 or if I would be the first.

I can’t tell you how many different modes of picking I’ve done over the years, just hoping to stumble upon something that works. Cutest Mascot? Fail. Alphabetical? Fail. Winning Percentage? Fail. Uniform Color? Fail. Location in relation to the Mason-Dixon Line? Actually, I haven’t tried that – but it does give me an idea for next year. Just doing whatever Sir Charles says? Fail.
Besides the fact that Morehead State beat Louisville, who I had going for a few more rounds…just after the Pool deadline, the biggest rat of all, Coach K, announced that Kyrie Irving was going to be back in the lineup. Nice timing. I suppose you sent a top secret email out much earlier in the day to all your Dookies so you didn’t hurt their Pool chances.

{If you haven’t got a dirty mind, just skip this part. Yeah, so my friend puts on his Facebook that he can’t say ‘Morehead State’ without laughing. Especially since their mascot is the Trojan. It only took me two hours to figure out why that was funny. And then someone suggested it’d be funny if Morehead played Ball State. And then someone else suggested they place Oregon (the Beavers). So, now I can’t say Morehead State without laughing either. Oh – there’s an idea. Dirtiest Team Name.}

Ide Four:
Ide like to stay young at heart forever.

Obviously that always comes up in March since it’s birthday month. T-Minus a week. Really need to dig out that “Things to do in my Thirties” list and get crack-a-lackin.

Hopefully when I do find it, it will say things like: Buy House. Check. Travel like crazy. Check. Raise a lot of money for some good causes. Check. Get to know Raleigh so well you forget you haven’t lived here forever. Check. Make new friends but keep the old. Check. Total one car. Get smaller boobs. Get Lasik. Check, check, check.

And no – I haven’t even started a list for the next decade. Nor will I. I don’t mind the pressure (in fact, if you know me at all you know there’s nothing I like more than an nice organized list. Well, I actually might like spreadsheets more). But sometimes I think when you do put together a list of goals – you focus a bit too much on that and then forget to be proud of the things you’ve done that aren’t on the goal list.

So, there’s your lesson for the day – some of your best achievements may be totally accidental. Just ask my folks…

Ide Five:
Ide like to teach the world to sing. In perfect harmony.

That’s not really on my March Ide list. But for some reason it popped into my head about nine paragraphs ago. And now it’s stuck on a loop, in my head. And now it’ll probably be stuck in yours.

You’re welcome.

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