Our task of raising baby adults continues to be an interesting one that is not without its hiccups. We are in the sweet spot of knowing absolutely nothing, despite having a combined 85 more years of life experience than our two baby adults. It is, again, the Nod & Smile Era during which we do just that–nod and smile when a suggestion is met with a correction from our wonder kids.
The easiest of the two, our youngest, is home for the summer and it has been 99% joy with just a dash of “Wait now, what?” Sure, we have all the typical eye-rolling catalysts such as dirty plates left on the table, canoe-sized shoes left in the middle of the living room, or the frequent tongue-biting as he rolls out of bed mere minutes before his clock-in time for work.
“What would happen if he were early?” we think.
Still, Zack is easy. He humors us as he reports on his day as a lifeguard, joins us without complaint for a requested “Just one a week, please” dinner together as a family, and has taken to tucking us in at night before he retreats to his late-night video game cave.
An ongoing topic of our summer has been centered around sunglasses or, rather, the lack of sunglasses–his, not ours. For his geriatric parents, sunglasses are a must even on cloudy days. The thought of days spent on the lifeguard stand without them quite literally makes our eyes water. For Zack, sure…sunglasses would be nice but…well, it’s now August and his retinas probably look like dehydrated blueberries.
Zack’s eyes are essentially square thanks to astigmatisms. He’s worn prescription glasses since he was seven and added prescription sunglasses to his wardrobe when he became a lifeguard a few years ago. Late last summer while visiting a friend’s river house, those sunglasses disappeared but, as it was late last summer, the task of replacing them was pushed off to the current year.
Still, as we turn the calendar to the last month of the season, no sunglasses. Why? He’s adulting. Is that enough of a summary? This man-child who sits poolside in the blazing sun for ten hours a day is doing the 2025 season without sunglasses because…he is adulting.
In early May, Zack zipped me a note requesting his glasses prescription so he could order a new pair of sunglasses from Zenni, ensuring that they’d arrive in time for his first shift in the lifeguard stand. The request produced a warm, fuzzy feeling because, hey, look how responsible this one is! It also produced an unsuccessful search for said prescription and a phone call to our eye doctor for a copy.
The eye doctor was not warm and fuzzy, rejecting my request as it had been over two years since they’d peered inside Zack’s eyeballs. Whoops. Years ago, we’d turned over the “making of the appointments” to each of our kids as a nod to their busy schedules and to ramp up the adulting. We reminded them, on occasion, to visit the dentist, get a physical, and, yes, see the eye doctor.
What’s that saying? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t shove its head in for a drink?
I gave Zack the news and encouraged him to make an appointment ASAP as the soonest-available (at the time) was mid-June. No surprise, really, that our baby adult had a better way to handle it.
A month ago, my husband and son visited the shooting range on a Father’s Day date. When they returned, one of them was joyous while the other was a bit cranky. The cranky one, I was told, could not hit a target to save his life and the joyous one has made the bold suggestion that it was probably because his glasses were two years old. This suggestion was not well-received and was returned with a list of more likely reasons such as the shape of the targets, the barometric pressure, astrology, or the smell of the range master’s deodorant.
Rich did threaten to drag Zack to the eye doctor himself but, really, was that necessary?
Have I mentioned how stubborn baby adults are?
Today, Zack is on his first real vacation without his parents as his pack of friends has taken off for the Outer Banks. Six days before the crew packed their bags, Zack announced that he was going to go get new sunglasses on his day off. The “day off” was just three days before the start of the beach trip. We nodded and smiled as he explained that he was “Just going to go to one of those walk-in places that could make the glasses right there while he waited.”
Wait now, what?
“Well, yes,” I wanted to say, “They may be able to make the glasses while you wait but the onsite eye doctor will still need to see you and that likely won’t be a walk-in and, well, nevermind.”
Instead, I suggested he maybe call around first to see if that was possible.
Instead, Zack spent his day off driving all over the metropolitan area on a very unsuccessful Tour de Optometry while sending us the occasional frustrated text about this place being closed or that place having a months-long waiting list for an exam.
Well, what do we know, right?
Today, Zack and his friends are baby-adulting as a squad at an oceanside AirBnB rented from a host who kindly agreed to host the half-dozen rising college sophomores as long as they followed her rules–and they will. They are baby-adults, yes, but not yet brave enough to blatantly defy that promise to follow a total stranger’s rules. Parents, yes. Strangers, no.
We are excited to hear endless tales upon his return as he captures a glimpse of real adulting: planning meals, applying sunscreen voluntarily, juggling plans, and leaving the rental spotless.
We’re happy this is only a glimpse as we’re not quite ready for this one to reach full adulthood.
We’d be even happier if this glimpse was through a pair of new sunglasses but, well, what do we know?