As you sat in front of your Thanksgiving feast last week, who kicked off the conversation with the annual, “Let’s go around the table and say what we’re most thankful for!” suggestion? I mean, it’s textbook, right? Center the turkey among the sides and then endure an eating delay while being forced to pan our memories for an answer? The wave of panic that passes over my children’s faces is always priceless as they a) realize they are going to have to speak, b) realize they are going to have to come up with something on the fly that isn’t an example of how embarrassing their parents are, and c) become distracted by how mortifying this activity is as we don’t do it EVERY YEAR and why do we make them do this EVERY YEAR?!?!?
Professional Thanksgiving-ers know the importance of planning a response well in advance or, at latest, on the drive to their host’s home or, okay so you forgot on the drive because you were arguing with your husband, in a panic while you’re slinging stuffing onto your plate.
Here’s the thing. Have you noticed how predictable the responses to that “Tell us what you are thankful for” request is? I mean, really, aren’t we all just latched onto “Oh, definitely my family…” like it’s a favorite security blanket? How can we dig in just a little deeper to that question and discover what really keeps us emotionally fulfilled? Also, why aren’t we answering that question more than And why do we only dive into this once per year?
I remember sitting at my kitchen table after school, a bowl of Spaghetti O’s in front of me, enthralled as Oprah challenged her audience (she’s talking to me!!) with a regular round-up of the good things that happened throughout the day. A million years later, that still resonates. It is rather easy, after all, to remember the bad things that happened throughout the day (or our lives, really), but tends to be a bit more challenging to name the good things. Oprah suggested keeping a notebook on the nightstand ready for a daily entry of five things that made each of her viewers (she’s talking to me!!) grateful during the previous hours.
Challenge Accepted, queen. I mean, yes, it’s been well over three decades, but Challenge Accepted.
Did you really think I was going to revisit Oprah’s challenge without help? No chance. I saved it for this month’s episode of Whine & Wine by passing off that call to my co-host, Kathy, though with a difficult twist: we would skip the daily round-up and examine each of our lives by naming five people or experiences that we were most thankful for. Oh right, and we would debut our answers while recording episode eight of Whine & Wine.
Listen to the episode here and/or read a synopsis of our answers below.
Our nonsor for this episode of Whine & Wine was cranberry sauce, perhaps the most polarizing item on the Thanksgiving docket. Did you know that a fellow named Marcus Uraan invented canned cranberry sauce in an effort to save his leftovers at the end of cranberry season? Did even know there was a cranberry season? Yeah, me neither. Thank you, Mr. Uraan, for giving us Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce.
So what was on our list? Surprisingly, only two crossovers: family and sports. The rest included the pandemic, education, a book, travel and a weird parable. We learned some wonderful things about each other as we went back and forth, in no particular order.
Hopefully, you will as well.
My challenge to you? Do try this at home! Do try this when out for a date night! Do try this in your Oprah Approve Bedside Notebook! Do try this more than once a year while staring down a delicious pile of carbs!
- Family: Okay, yes, still number one but also inclusive of those friends who become family. We touched on how our families have shaped us by example, good or bad. We both listed this one first in case our family members are our only listeners and in case they only actually listen to the first five minutes of the show.
- Sports: We both chose sports, though for very different reasons. For Kathy, sports reeled her in and, she believes, likely kept her out of a lot of trouble. For me, sports shaped everything about my life which left me completely lost until a shoulder injury forced me to fill in numerous gaps that I didn’t even know existed.
- Jyl: The Pandemic: Really? No, really. A relationship saver in my home. The pandemic forced us to slow down and reconnect as a family giving us a roadmap to stay connected going forward.
- Kathy: Education: But not just the book kind. For Kathy, education means constantly creating opportunities for herself to evolve as a person whether that is through volunteerism, conversation, or simply jumping outside of her comfort zone.
- Kathy Scouting: Kathy’s time in Girl Scouts shaped endless relationships including the one with her father. It was through her time as a scout that she quickly recognized the importance of female friendships. Her father was the troop mother, offering endless opportunities to earn badges and leaning into cookie sales–creating a father/daughter experience that was quite unique.
- Jyl: Glimpses of God: This book by Michelle Peele was life-changing. Peele bravely shares the story of losing her teenage daughter and the moments prior that ended up mattering so much more than she ever would have imagined. I think about this book often (though it was written decades ago) as I try to recognize those moments today that will mean so much more in the years to come.
- Kathy: Travel: Expanding your bubble may be the most important thing we can do for ourselves. A big plus? Finding out you are not (gasp!) the center of the universe. Kathy first discovered this when she went to western North Carolina for college and has since expanded her bubble far beyond. She even makes a point to add service or learning moments to leisure travel.
- Jyl: The Person I Am Kind to Next: Whoa. Okay, I may have gone a little deep on this one but hear me out. In sports, we learn that you are only as good as your next swing or hit or landing. In life? For me, how you treat other people is a huge measure of character. Showing unsolicited kindness? Always worth it.
What’s on your list?
Mentions:
- Girl Scouts of America
- West Chester University’s Abbe Society
- Raleigh Jaycees
- Maya Angelou, “When You Know Better, You Do Better.”
- Michelle Peele, Author of “Glimpses of God“
- Bainbridge Island
- Oprah Winfrey
Next month on Whine & Wine we will take another stab at having a guest! It is our gift to you as we bribe a youngster to answer all those pesky questions we have about the socials, boba tea, and more. Do you have a question? Submit now to Ask a Gen Z!