It was 4:00 a.m. when I was awoken from my slumber to a ping from my phone, indicating that one of our security cameras had spotted an intruder.
It’s not a great sound to wake up to–especially since the camera pinging was located inside our home. We’ve become complacent with our exterior cameras as most of their pings result from the appearance of squirrels, deer, errant neighborhood dogs, or a spider building its web across the camera’s eye.
Those exterior cameras rarely (never, thankfully) produce an actual human that doesn’t belong to us.
Inside, it’s obviously a little different. Inside, we have a few cameras primarily in place for vacations when we want to check in on the pets. Well, sort of. They came in pretty handy during our “we’ve got teens” era when those cameras offered conversation starters for forgotten house rules.
It’s not weird, I promise.
We live in a technology-driven house—so much so that we were able to use faux technology for years to encourage our kids to make good decisions. Long ago, we introduced Bill-Eye to the house. Bill-Eye, seen below, now lives outside but he spent the first half of his life in Kidland—the front room of our house where the kids hung out and where their computers lived. Bill-Eye monitored internet time and website visits as he always had viewing access to our kids’ daily screen time.
Yes, the house rule was that the kids could be on their devices without supervision as long as their screens were visible to Bill-Eye. I’m not sure when it was that the kids realized Bill-Eye did not, in fact, house a camera capable of reporting infractions to their parents but he sure was a valiant soldier.
Don’t judge us—I suspect many of you have Santa Cams in place at this very moment. Bill-Eye walked so Santa Cams could run.
But back to that 4:00 am ping from the living room.
My hope is always that, should an intruder enter the house, my husband will hear them and handle it without even waking me up. No need to tell me the story of saving the day, I’ll just be over here in my world of unicorns and rainbows. Unfortunately, my husband is a bit hard of hearing so nary a muscle was moved when that 4:00 a.m. ping chimed.
I, on the other hand, grabbed and fumbled with my phone while trying to remain calm. I grabbed my glasses, dropped them, and grabbed them again all while trying to find the Ring app. It seemed to take hours to open, giving my mind plenty of time to start down an unpleasant rabbit hole.
And the screen lit up just in time to see a grown man strolling through our living room. A grown man!!
A grown, mostly naked man, strolling through our living room in only his underoos.
It’s a funny thing to have college kids at home for break.
Sometimes, you forget those college kids are even home, and sometimes, you get a shocking 4:00 a.m. reminder that includes a second reminder that your youngest child, your wee little lad, is no longer the small boy that lives in your head.
There is freedom in having grown-up children.
Three years ago, I’d have leaped out of bed and scared the living shizzle out of this kid as he continued his mostly naked stroll through the house. I’d have flown down the stairs, instantly awake, with a tirade that started with “WHY THE EFF ARE YOU NOT IN BED??”
This time, I simply put the phone back on the nightstand, placed my head back on the pillow, and tried to erase the vision as quickly as possible.
Well, I did snicker a bit as I remembered our 10:00 a.m. plans. Going to be a sleepy day for that one.
A quick PSA to those experiencing the return of their first college kid. This PSA relates to the number of parents launching panicked posts to the socials on these three topics:
- My college kid didn’t do well academically and I don’t know what to do.
- My college kid was drinking at college and I don’t know what to do.
- My college kid came home with an attitude and is flexing their adultness and I don’t know what to do.
Maybe it’s because we are on our last college kid, but our attitude is firmly in the camp of, “Do nothing…”
Your baby adult is spending the majority of their year outside of your bubble and in their own, brand-new bubble. This is a bubble in which they are going to grow and mature and, yes, morph into an entirely new version of themselves. That is the goal, right? For them to spread their wings a bit while exploring new boundaries? This is all part of that process. It is a process that will include poor decisions and icky outcomes but within a bubble that is relatively safe.
Do nothing.
Doling out consequences in your bubble for learning experiences in their bubble will not only stunt that growing process but also create a rift in your relationship that you might not have wanted. Sure, adult conversations are always a fantastic idea, but consequences? Now is not the time. It is not your responsibility to reach out to professors to fix grades or manage roommate issues or, really, anything within that distant bubble. You’re primary role is now as a sounding board.
Advice from someone with no qualifications? Do Nothing.
Except maybe request clothes on their 4:00 a.m. walkabouts.