Hello.
Aloha.
I hope you enjoyed my time away as much as I did. I almost feel like I should reintroduce myself as this was the first time in a decade that I stuck to my quest to put my pen down for a solid span of non-writing. Not just time off from blogging, mind you, but from ALL writing: blogging, freelancing, the next book (yes, it’s in progress), grocery lists, thank-you cards…even random notes on the back of napkins.
For the first time in a decade, I left my laptop tucked away, did not pull out the notes app on my phone, or so much as reach for a pen and paper.
I’ve tried to do this before, but have never been successful. Writing regularly creates a need to write regularly. I suppose it’s like working out–once you start doing it consistently, you feel drawn back to it when you’ve been away too long. At least, that’s what I’ve heard from the overly fit people in my life.
Anytime I’ve tried for a writing break in the past, I’ve lasted just a few days before the keyboard called to me, ready to take off with its clickity-clacking. I’ve always answered the call lest whatever was percolating in my brain was actually the BEST ARTICLE EVER WRITTEN and, therefore, demanded a break in the fountain pen fast.
My husband often praises me for my Type-A-ness and Stick-To-It-Ness but, honestly, it can be a pain in the ass (says the gal on Duolingo day 1667 in a row). Convincing my brain to shut down is not easy. Convincing any woman’s brain to shut down is not easy. So, yes, fourteen days without so much as a glance at a notepad was a huge accomplishment. And, from what I’ve learned since returning to reality, the world did not stop turning in my literary lull.
August was the whirlwind of all whirlwinds as we dropped both kids off at colleges (in opposite directions), leaned into empty nesting (for approximately seventeen seconds), showed up for minor surgery (Rich), made a second seventeen-second attempt at empty nesting, showed up for major surgery (Rich’s mother), took a third attempt at empty-nesting and finally, kicked off the tailspin that comes when someone dies unexpectedly (Rich’s mother).
There was certainly a moment or two when we wondered if we should cancel the long-ago booked vacation. When we saw the invoice from the funeral home, we were shocked to see just how many items we said, “add to cart” to. Grief is not a reliable shopping companion. Would it be ridiculous to follow those expenses with a vacation that was really only meant to celebrate our empty nest? And why did we think we needed multiple guests books?
Yes. The death of a loved one kicks off a slew of very rude adulting benchmarks and, in this case, the unwelcome realization that we were now the adults tasked with taking charge. Running away from home? Yes, please! After living in a fog that included picking a casket and digging through my mother-in-law’s personal files (which feels very invasive) and shuffling college kids back and forth (and back and forth and back and forth) and putting together a service and repeating “This can’t be real” over and over (and over and over), it was clear the only thing we had energy for was a complete mental pause.
Now that I’m pointing my brain back to the writing direction, my thought bank is a bit congested. Anyone have a lead on a set of mental jumper cables? There are about a hundred tales to tell from our vacation. There are dozens to tell about saying goodbye to a loved one. There are also endless thoughts on how incredibly strange it is to shut down someone else’s life.
Still, finding focus has not been easy since my return to reality.
I blame Hawaii. It was stunning. This was a place I’d never really had on my bucket list because isn’t Hawaii just a place for television shows to visit when they are lacking material? We all remember the Brady Bunch vacation that quickly turned into a debacle when Greg grabbed that cursed totem, right? Hawaii has always seemed a bit commercial to me.
I was wrong. Happily wrong.
We started our trip with six days at sea on a cruise ship that was being moved for the next season from Vancouver to Sydney. I expected my laptop to stay hidden during those days as ships that far out to sea do not have reliable access to the interwebs. I did not expect my laptop to remain hidden once we arrived in Hawaii but, good grief, the idea of looking away from the glorious landscape and toward a computer screen was unimaginable.
I hope you enjoyed my time away as much as I did.
I also hope my focus returns (any day now…) so that I can get back to all the writing…blogging, freelancing, the next book (yes, it’s in progress), grocery lists, thank-you cards…even random notes on the back of napkins.
But…in case my focus doesn’t return…perhaps you can join me in my daydreams with a few picture prompts from my time away…
Need to get rid of your focus for a while? I’d love to help you! Reach out, and let’s create the perfect plan for you to run away from home for a bit. Your adventures keep this writer/travel agent going!