I wasn’t going to do a blog/podcast combo this month as this month’s episode is the final of a three-part series related to my memoir, What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting.
But…then I got to editing and was blown away.
It’s a great listen.
It’s a great listen for the blended family but it’s also a great listen for anyone who engages in relationships throughout their day. Anyone? Everyone. We all interact with other humans every dang day, right? Shouldn’t we all strive to make those interactions as positive as possible?
When writing What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting, it was primarily with the blended family in mind. It wasn’t long after it hit bookshelves that I started receiving unexpected feedback from readers who weren’t in blended families at all. Turns out, many of the things learned in the struggle to find our sweet spot as a blended family were equally as helpful to, well, just about everyone.
In the first two episodes of this series, Rich and I each sat with Kathy solo while she dug through her pile of Post-it notes. For episode three, we all got together at Kathy’s kitchen table for the final (and best) installment.
Some of my favorite takeaways?
- The Misconception of Boundaries: Let’s face it. “Boundaries” is a hot word right now that many of us would like to retire (let’s throw “toxic” on that list as well, yes?). Why is “boundaries” such a polarizing word? Because most folks use them completely wrong. Boundaries aren’t meant to keep people out of your life. Boundaries are meant to keep people in your life.
- Compassion vs Solutions: I’ve talked about this before, but it is always worth repeating. I’d say about a billion of the arguments between men and women come because men head into a list of solutions when women are simply looking for compassion. How to fix that? Verbalize your needs. I can’t tell you how much a simple “I need to talk, but this is a compassion conversation.” has helped our household.
- Prioritize Correctly: As Rich and I struggled to put our family together, we were often told to prioritize our marriage. A lot of folks found that insane (including Rich). Weren’t the children our priority? Well, yes. But if our marriage wasn’t thriving, neither would our children. We’re all familiar with the phrase “shit rolls downhill…” The same can be said for success.
When we got together to record, it was the first time Rich & Kathy met in person and, therefore, the first time Rich experienced the Kathy & Jyl banter live. Deer in headlights? Table for one. We broke the ice by heading to the Angus Barn to do a Tour de Barlow so Kathy could see where we met, where Rich told me he loved me the first time, where he proposed, and where we got married. This is an incredibly special place to us and we love sharing the story of where our story began.
Needless to say, this was another magical weekend filled with laughter, tears, and (maybe) a few drinks.
Not quite caught up?
Here are the first two episodes in this series: